Great prompts last week for sb_fag_ends
Edit to add: Ok so I'm not too late to post as I thought. Thanks bogwitch
Title: Is this love?
Setting: Season7 just before and after Chosen
Prompt: Yes or No
Is this love?
Buffy and Spike lay quietly together, they whiled away the hours until they had to go to Sunnydale High and do the impossible. This could be the last time they ever saw each other and that realization made her ache to have him inside her once more. Things had changed so much between them, however, the one thing that didn’t was his steadfast love and support for her. Without him she wouldn’t have gotten through this. She licked her lips nervously before she told him what she felt. “Spike, I need you to do more than hold me tonight.”
She felt his body freeze behind her and she turned around to face him.
He looked shocked. “What?”
“You heard me,” she said gently.
To her surprise he looked hurt and angry. Buffy was confused. Surely he would be happy to make love with her?
He got up and pushed her away. “What does this messed up thing we have mean to you? Am I just a body to you?” He paced the floor clearly agitated. “You were kissing Peaches a couple of hours ago.”
It wasn’t the time or place to be having this conversation. If they both somehow managed to make it through she would have the time to examine her feelings. “We went through this earlier. Wasn’t that enough?”
“Maybe – it’s not.” His blue eyes were blazing. “I’m not your bleeding sex toy.” He closed his eyes and when he opened them again he sounded calmer. “Surely you can answer me this. Do I mean anything at all to you?”
She opened her eyes wide at being put in the spot like that. She jumped up. “How can you ask me that? I am here with you and I have gone against my friends for you.”
He closed the distance between them so that they were standing nose to nose. “You’re avoiding the question. Slayer. yes or no?”
She had feelings for him, but she couldn’t say exactly what it was she felt. Was it love? She didn’t know. She was standing so close to him she could count his long eyelashes.
“Of course you mean a lot to me. You are my strength, my courage, my friend. Even at my worst it still meant something. Maybe not what you want it to mean, but it’s something.”
“It is,” he admitted with a nod before capturing her lips in a scorching kiss. She met his kiss with equal fervour.
They lay in post coital bliss pressed tightly together. Spike’s bed was not really suitable for more than one person. Nevertheless, Buffy liked where she was well enough. She could feel the cool muscular body against hers. Even when he was just holding her she felt at home somehow.
Spike’s hair was mussed and she thought he never looked more gorgeous than he did at that moment. “I’ve always gone for women much superior to me,” he said all of a sudden.
He always had a gift for ruining perfect moments.
“You’ve never been beneath me Spike.” She paused for a moment and then added with a grin, “Except when you’re actually beneath me.”
He leered at her doing his sexy thing with his tongue. “You’re a dirty girl, Buffy.”
“And you love it!”
He chuckled. “I love you, Buffy Summers.”
She could see that look of love and awe, and she really wished she could tell him the same without reservation. She thought she could love him if she let herself. Maybe when all this was over they could wipe the slate clean and start over?
Three Weeks later…
She stood looking into the chasm that had once been her home. She had insisted that she be left alone to say goodbye to Sunnydale before they left to go to the other side of the ocean. Spike had once told her of his pain that summer she was dead. She knew exactly how he felt now. She too dreamed of all the things she could have done or said differently.
“Spike, every night I save you,” she whispered, as she rubbed a tear from her right eye.
She knew without hesitation she loved him now. She had spoken those words he craved at the end but he hadn't believed her. If only...